blechuary

It's the third day of the semester and I can't really get into anything. I've spent the last few days half-starting lesson plans, BER administrative stuff, books, poems, revisions, but nothing seems to stick. What I really want is to be outside sitting on the porch, smoking a cigarette and watching the sun disappear.

But it's January and the snow's piled up on the steps and cigarettes are bad for you.

I think I'm resisting the semester beginning because I know what needs to be done. I know I need to have a week's worth of class planned and a poem underway. I need to have notes for the BER meeting next week and to pay some bills online and respond to an e-mail from a former student. I've been half-heartedly surfing sites checking for new job postings, and I could be working on my fellowship applications, and planning my Comp study schedule, and reading Munro for class. But I know that it can all wait until tomorrow.

This is January, isn't it? It's sort of gray and the days run into each other and motivation is scarse. And your feet are cold from the bottom inch of slush that's soaked your jeans.

Ironically enough, the Simpsons just summed it all up:

Bart: That movie was terrible! I was so bored I cut off the ponytail of the guy ahead of us. (Puts ponytail on his own head and waggles it) Look at me, I'm a grad student! I'm 30 years old and made $600 last year.

I'm not depressed. I just don't feel like being productive any more. I think I'll just review the only thing I accomplished today, and take a shower, and think about what I want for dinner.