So there we are, last night, the B and I: standing five rows back from the stage. AA Bondy was playing, quietly, strumming the guitar and whatnot. The crowd around us is digging it, listening to his sort-of-David-Gray-meets-Woody-Guthrie-meets-Dylan sounds.
And then, halfway through the set, a guy and a girl push their way through the crowd to stand directly behind us, and then they stood there and proceeded to hold a conversation. In normal tones. Like they decided, oh, we know there's plenty of room in this place and people talking back by the bar, but let's get up close and stand next to the people who are trying to hear the music, and then let's talk there.
They stood there for four songs, pretty much talking over everything that I was trying to hear (diamond roads and Georgia rain and whatnot) and then, I said in my head, You have one more song. And then AA Bondy started in on another one, and they kept talking, and I turned around.
HEY GUYS? I said. I DON'T MEAN TO BE RUDE, BUT I HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT IF YOU TALK THROUGH ONE MORE OF THESE SONGS, I AM GOING TO HAVE TO FUCKING KILL YOU.
They blinked. Oh, he stammered. Uh. Are we bothering you?
YEAH, I said. JUST A LITTLE.
Okay, he said.
And then I turned back around, and they were quiet. And I had to hide my smile because honestly, it was more funny to me than anything else, the fact that I had just told two random, albeit incredibly rude and annoying strangers, that I was going to fucking kill them.
I guess it was uncalled for. But you know, I didn't hear a fucking word after that.
You are my hero. Last summer I had 2 douches sitting behind me at an Eric Clapton concert talking on their cell phones. Both of them. On phones. At an Eric Clapton concert. Talking about how 'NOT INTO CLAPTON' they were.
ReplyDeleteDouches.
-- Erin on the prairie --
It would have been funnier if you stabbed the woman in the tit and yelled, "See what you made baby do? See?!!?!" and then turned around and mumbled something about Siam.
ReplyDeleteI think it was all quite called for. The only thing close I can think of was at a Mason Jennings show at the 400 bar. He was playing solo at the time singing that song about Paul Wellstone and some girl got on her cell phone and started hollering "yeah I'm at the Mason Jennings show. Yeah, I'm plenty ditsy but I'm told he's hip to listen to so here I am" etc... and the whole bar turns to her and in unison says shut the fuck up.
ReplyDeleteShe shut the fuck up.