Today I had the studes write me--in addition to their thoughtful responses concerning The Dog Ate My Disk, and Other Tales of Woe--the best excuse ever.
Give me, I said, the very best excuse you can possibly come up with for missing class--something so astounding that there's no way I can NOT let you turn in your essay late. Spare me the dead grandma and give me something that will leave me speechless.
Some joined the witness protection program to escape an abusive boyfriend and had to live with the Amish for a while. Others stopped, en route to class, to help save three pregnant women from a fiery car wreck. One was essentially the plot to the movie Eagle Eye. And then there was my favorite:
My roommate traveled back in time to the age of the dinosaurs and returned with a raptor egg that he ingested. After surgically removing the egg he went on to hatch a fleet of raptors, which he planned on using to take over the world. So the reason I was not able to attend class the day our portfolio was due was because I had to fight his fleet of raptors with my other two roommates.
And to top it off, my favorite excuse was then followed by my favorite conversation of the day:
Me: That's a good one. But it would have been better if the raptors were also armed with guns.
Student: Yeah, but that would be totally unrealistic.
I love this student. Especially the understanding that dinosaurs with guns would just be too ridiculous to be believed. Too bad he's probably, like, eighteen. I was just talking to my sister about velociraptors the other day. This is one of the best writing assignments I've heard of - if I get to teach again, I'm stealing it.
ReplyDeleteWord verification: pernapig. We had a rash of exploding pigs, so we called up Pernapig to help us put them back together.
Snout from a can, ma'am? Carve yourself off a slice and admire the jellied quiver!
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