what happens when you give a dog a blackberry?

a) he puts it in his mouth and moves his teeth around it so that you think maybe he is eating it;
b) he trots around the corner and drops it to the carpet;
c) he sniffs it twice;
d) he rolls his head and face all over it;
e) the blackberry bursts and stains the carpet;
f) the dog ends up with a purple stain on his face, earning him the nickname "Gorbachev" for the remainder of the day.

Alternately, you could give the dog a BlackBerry, but that would turn him into one of those insufferable types who, given the Internet at their fingertips, just end up surfing Facebook while you're trying to have dinner.