PROFESSOR notices that one student, SAM, is surfing the web.
PROFESSOR
(pulls up a chair next to Sam)
Sam. Let's talk about your essay.(pulls up a chair next to Sam)
SAM
(not thrilled)
Okay.(not thrilled)
PROFESSOR
Remind me of your topic.SAM
I'm looking at the FCC regulations. This is a source I found, but I don't know how to cite it.PROFESSOR
This is a short work from a web site ... do you think perhaps it would be a little easier to figure out how to cite it if you were, say, looking at Hacker online?SAM
I guess ...PROFESSOR
(gets up to leave)
Maybe you could use the time we have left to get some work done?(gets up to leave)
SAM
Okay.PROFESSOR resumes walking around the lab. Occasionally she glances over at SAM, who is now halfheartedly clicking around the Internet.
PROFESSOR
Sam.(SAM looks up.)
"Texts From Last Night" is also not going to be all that helpful in the writing of your essay.
SAM
Uh, uh ...PROFESSOR
(gives what is known as A LOOK)
(gives what is known as A LOOK)
SAM gets to work. Class ends. SAM stops PROFESSOR on his way out the door.
PROFESSOR.
Sam.SAM
Sorry about earlier.PROFESSOR
That's okay. You're pretty far behind, you know.SAM
I'm just not used to having my teachers know what web sites look like.PROFESSOR
(tries to raise an eyebrow, remembers she can't, squints at SAM instead)
SAM
You know, because most professors I have are really old. And they don't know how computers work.PROFESSOR
I am pretty sure that is an overstatement, Sam.SAM
Anyway. I think it's kind of cool that you know things.PROFESSOR
Maybe you should stop talking now, Sam. Quit while you're ahead and all that.SAM
Okay.PROFESSOR
See you Tuesday. Bring a complete first draft.SAM
Okay.(turns to leave)
I had one more question. I'm doing this essay, you know, on FCC regulations ... and one of the sources I want to use lists a bunch of violations in the last year. (holds out printed page) I know what some of this stuff is, like a "lipstick party," but what's a "high five"?
PROFESSOR
I have no idea. You should check urbandictionary.com.SAM
Urbandictionary?PROFESSOR
Yeah ... It's this online listing of pretty much--you know, Sam, just take a look when you get home.SAM
Okay.PROFESSOR
And a draft ready for Tuesday.SAM
Okay.END SCENE
And now I know what a "lipstick party" is. THANKS.
ReplyDeleteAlso, high five, besides being the epitome of coolness, can (according to urbandictionary.com) refer to AIDS: Hi-V. That is some craziness.
I'd like to produce this play, but I think it would be lost on most of our audience. The professors in the house, though, would love it.
Very clever, pretending to "not know" what a lipstick party is when in fact you INVENTED THEM. OH HO HO. YOU ARE SO CLEVER.
ReplyDeleteTYPING IN CAPITALS IS FUN BECAUSE IT MEANS EVERYTHING IS IMPORTANT. EVERYTHING!!!!!
p.s. exclamation points mean that too. This concludes Typography by Christina.
bitch! i think WE BOTH KNOW that this so -called "typography" "by" "christina" is BEST referred to as "the new modern dictionary for texting, standard mc bestler edition." OHHHH SNAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP.
ReplyDeleteadditionally, i loved this. you like, totally changed a life and stuff. crazy. isn't it weird how some people tell people to do things, and then hold them to task for not doing them? it's PRETTY REVOLUTIONARY.
p.s. in my 'hood, HIV is referred to as the hiv. as in, pronounce the acronym.
p.p.s. blog more. i miss you. please? blog about what you're eating, or wearing, or what's stuck to the bottom of your shoe. i careth not.
it's been a long time. I know. for you, then: this evening, I blog.
ReplyDelete