Well, it's official. Next week Wednesday, I'm being flown down and put up for a night in a small Kentucky town for a campus visit. I passed my phone interview and now I have to appear in person to prove that I can string together coherent sentences.
I've been steadily downplaying this news (besides mentioning it on my blog, of course, but I meant around the department), mostly because I don't want to get myself whipped into a frenzy only to learn that my dreams have been crushed and this time next will not, in fact, find me teaching creative writing and intermediate poetry or editing a literary magazine. But today, since we've confirmed my travel arrangements, I've permitted myself an hour to Google images and muck around on the website. Then I should probably go buy another pair of black dress pants and figure out how to pack things in my little suitcase in a manner not resulting in seas of wrinkles. Because we all know me, kids. There's a good chance I'll wake up next Thursday morning at an early hour, get dressed, actually style my hair, and in the split second between hearing the knock on the hotel door and opening it, realize that the seat of my pants is COMPLETELY COVERED IN A LARGE CREASE RESEMBLING A SECOND BUTT CRACK.
I want this job, though. Think bluegrass. Think quaint college town. Think horses. Think big white columns on deep red brick buildings.
Think town where Kentucky bourbon whiskey was first brewed.
This is mine.
Are there other dogs there? Because I don't really like other dogs... especially big dogs that hump my head. I hate those dogs. Really... Seriously, guys... I don't like them. As long as there are no big black dogs to hump my head, I think KT will be like totally sexified. I mean totally!
ReplyDeleteWhat? Truman, is that you? Why are you posting under Ben's name? And what's this KT about? KT Turnstall? A little "Black Horse and the Cherry Tree" reference?
ReplyDeleteThere aren't dogs in Kentucky, but there may be horses.
You're drunk, aren't you? Yeah. You are. Good dog.
Woo! Congratulations! This is totally yours, but I'll send you good vibes next Wednesday anyway.
ReplyDeleteIf you get hired do you get to teach the course you designed?
I'd get to teach upper level poetry, intro to CW, intro to creative nonfiction, a little Comp, and some other stuff TBD. That course I designed wasn't for this application, but I'd still love to teach it...
ReplyDeleteYOURS indeed.
ReplyDeleteYou shall borrow my garmet (is that how you spell that? is it garment? have I been saying it wrong for all these years? goddammit anyway) bag. Then no second buttcracks will be had.
But in KY they might want that sort of thing.
Prepare yourself for lots of Kentucky jokes and me singing "blue moon of kentucky" until you want to punch me in the critchity. fuck yes you are awesome. I don't know if KY deserves you.
Yay! Just think - they have snow, but not very deep snow, and (as you told me) it's only an hour from one of the most fantastically skanky duo cities in America: Cincinatti/Covington! They have this strip club there called the Pad. Trust me - don't go to it.
ReplyDeleteThis is great!
ReplyDeleteAnd bluegrass is great, but just think... you'll be that much closer to some kudzu!
Hey, good luck on the interview. Wear your black wool cape - you'll knock 'em dead.
ReplyDeleteI wish you insane amounts of luck. IN-FRICKIN-SANE.
ReplyDeleteAwesome! I've got all my stuff crossed..make that MOST of my stuff...ah hell, just the usual stuff (bunch of dirty minded bastards)for you. I'm sure you'll do well. If you get the job, we could be neighbors.
ReplyDeleteThe Ohioan has spoken.
Wait. So, Truman...you're telling me that a move to Kentucky could potentially increase your getting some action and you're complaining? Granted, head humping's not probably the most desirable of methods---LOL. Hold up a sec....Big Black Dogs you say? Hmmmm....Blue, have you been a naughty boy?? But, seriously...I know I don't even know you personally Truman, but I've found that most dogs are pretty resilient to change so long as their owners remember to give them treats and let the out to go to the....oh crap, gotta run----I forgot to let MY dog out!
ReplyDeleteholy smokes! i go away to the philippines and come back to this freaking AMAZING good news!!?? i know you will ROCK the campus interview and keep me posted. am keeping my fingers crossed over here as I am being dumped with lake effect snow as i type.
ReplyDelete