Some interesting news around these parts.
A few weeks ago I nominated one of my own blog posts (and some other folks', but also myself--blame the marketer in me) for this. When I returned from Philly earlier this week, I had an acceptance e-mail waiting for me. So now it seems that this blog's URL will be published, alongside that little piece of writing, sometime next August in The Best Creative Nonfiction, Volume 3.
Which is, of course, pretty fucking awesome. But also a little strange.
I realize that I've had some sort of extensive love-hate relationship with blogs; I also realize how ridiculous it is to publish your thoughts to your public blog on the Internet and then try to play it coy. But I also realize (so many realizations! no wonder my head hurts) that this blog chronicles some interesting times in my life. And since there will soon be a decent chance that my colleagues and students will have access to this URL, I've been doing a little bit of thinking.
Blogging has always forced me to periodically consider the differences between the public and the private persona, and as I move toward the publication of my book (and this pub, and the creation of an author Web site), I realize that pretty soon, more people are going to know that I'm out here. And that's not a bad thing. My first blog was a good introduction to what it means--what it really means--to publish thoughts on the Internet. Now I read other poets' and writers' and teachers' blogs frequently, curious to see not only how they write and live but also what they choose to disclose and what they keep to themselves. There's a part of me that gulps when I realize what this could mean--will my boss approach me? former students? all my extended family at upcoming holiday dinners?
Cliff reads this blog now, and that in itself was a recent big step. I mean, I know that my father has seen me through some really awkward phases (all of my secondary school years come to mind). And it's a great way for us to keep in touch. But it's still a little strange the first time your father drops you a line that starts with Hey, I was reading your blog the other day ...
However, I also know that I am a better person because I'm able to read blogs that other brave people have published--from the all-out-there approach that is Dooce to the writing and teaching confessions (and photos of cute pets, and music and book recommendations, and recipes and contest notifications) that pop up in the poetry blogosphere. I'm a happier person because my friends leave me notes and comments. I'm a [slightly] more self-aware person because I have posts to review and relive. I'd like to think that the only person who's raked across the coals in this blog is myself. And I'm not afraid to present myself as I am: a bumbling young writer. I'm neurotic. I have a dog. I like food. These are not big secrets.
So here's the official word: this blog's being read by people I've never met. Linkage is awesome. Downplaying my *real* or full name would still be nice, but a super sleuth (uh, with a lot of free time) could figure out who I am fairly easily. On my part, I'm removing a few of the more personal photos (mostly from Kato days) that I do have up here. And if you're one of the names frequently mentioned on this blog and you'd like yourself referred to by an initial only, drop me a line and let me know.
Lastly, I'm not kidding myself. This entire sort of mental debate is constantly interrupted by the voice in my head that shouts, OH MY GOD GET OVER YOURSELF. YOU ARE SO NOT VERY IMPORTANT. Rest assured, I doubt very much that the publication of this URL will cause millions to rush to their computers and start pawing through my archived posts and comments--but it's your name, and ultimately, I respect your privacy wishes. As we move from students to professionals, it's worth reconsidering the things we choose to make public--especially when it comes to other people's stories and faces. So let me know if you'd rather be purged. Or have links to your sites removed. Or whatever. I'm happy to do so.
Finally--a big thanks to the folks at Creative Nonfiction, who recognize all kinds of writing for inclusion in this anthology. Far out.
