Perhaps you should take a picture and then you and P can start a scrapbook of bad WI signs (or turn them into postcards). Lest you recall the sign she and Mark saw in Door County: HO-MADE GIFTS.
Or how about the Perkins by our old place, which painted the windows to read PICK UP YOUR HOLIDAY PIE TODAY? But they split it across the windows rather awkwardly so that it really read PICK UP YOUR HO LIDAY PIE TODAY.
* 3 c of fresh ho (the chef recommends using a fresh sprig, although the pre-packaged, dried out ho can be just as delightful in a pinch)
* 4 tbsp crack-cocaine from your local dealer
* 1/2 tsp cream of tarter
* the sparkle from an undergraduate's eye; meaning the "idea" of the child he's going to conceive at that New Year's party over spring break (this one's hard to find, you may substitute the absence of three birth control pills if necessary)
* 18 lbs. of sugar
* 6 bushels of nolobb (today's WV)
*7 1/2 of your tears (9 tears if you're wearing contacts that day)
* bake at 400 degrees for seven hours, or until you place a toothpick in the Liday and it comes out clean**
(**by clean, we don't mean free of STDs, as a ho sprig without STDs could compromise the flavor of your Liday pie)
Suggested accompaniments: a half-drank gallon of sort-of chunkified eggnog that you found out back by the Dumpster and a feeling of overwhelming sadness. Happy Ho Lidays, everyone!
There's also the TOTALLY EXOTIC GIRLS! sign on the way to Jean's house where you can tell that they used to have the word "nude" in there - but now the dancers are just TOTALLY exotic! Rad!
I tried making that pie, but I think my ho was too old - it had been in the back of the fridge for a while and was kind of brown and wrinkly. But it still tasted all right. I'll save you a piece!
What the fuck does that sign even mean?!
ReplyDeletePerhaps you should take a picture and then you and P can start a scrapbook of bad WI signs (or turn them into postcards). Lest you recall the sign she and Mark saw in Door County: HO-MADE GIFTS.
Heh heh heh heh.
Or how about the Perkins by our old place, which painted the windows to read PICK UP YOUR HOLIDAY PIE TODAY? But they split it across the windows rather awkwardly so that it really read PICK UP YOUR HO LIDAY PIE TODAY.
ReplyDeleteHa. Isn't Wisconsin awesome.
ReplyDeleteNo, that's not a question.
Recipe for Liday Pie:
ReplyDelete* 3 c of fresh ho (the chef recommends using a fresh sprig, although the pre-packaged, dried out ho can be just as delightful in a pinch)
* 4 tbsp crack-cocaine from your local dealer
* 1/2 tsp cream of tarter
* the sparkle from an undergraduate's eye; meaning the "idea" of the child he's going to conceive at that New Year's party over spring break (this one's hard to find, you may substitute the absence of three birth control pills if necessary)
* 18 lbs. of sugar
* 6 bushels of nolobb (today's WV)
*7 1/2 of your tears (9 tears if you're wearing contacts that day)
* bake at 400 degrees for seven hours, or until you place a toothpick in the Liday and it comes out clean**
(**by clean, we don't mean free of STDs, as a ho sprig without STDs could compromise the flavor of your Liday pie)
This recipe makes an amazing Christmas gift!
Suggested accompaniments: a half-drank gallon of sort-of chunkified eggnog that you found out back by the Dumpster and a feeling of overwhelming sadness. Happy Ho Lidays, everyone!
ReplyDeleteThere's also the TOTALLY EXOTIC GIRLS! sign on the way to Jean's house where you can tell that they used to have the word "nude" in there - but now the dancers are just TOTALLY exotic! Rad!
ReplyDeleteI tried making that pie, but I think my ho was too old - it had been in the back of the fridge for a while and was kind of brown and wrinkly. But it still tasted all right. I'll save you a piece!