SCENE: Dining cafe, campus. Lunchtime. STUDENTS are milling about. TEACHER enters the building, looks at dining options, heads for TACO OLE! counter.
Two EMPLOYEES look up.
EMPLOYEE 1
Hi there! What can we get for you?
TEACHER
I'd like a taco salad with chicken, please.
EMPLOYEE 1
(to EMPLOYEE 2)
She's going to have a salad.
EMPLOYEE 2
A taco salad?
TEACHER
Yes, with chicken and black beans, please.
EMPLOYEE 2
(at steam table)
What kind of meat would you like?
TEACHER
Uh. Chicken, please.
EMPLOYEE 2
(places chicken in taco shell)
Do you want beans?
TEACHER
Yes. Black, please.
EMPLOYEE 1
Black beans? Or the pinto?
TEACHER
Black beans.
(EMPLOYEE 2 places beans on chicken)
EMPLOYEE 2
Did you want anything else?
TEACHER
Let's have pico, black olives, onions, cheese, and lettuce. Can't have a salad without lettuce, right?
EMPLOYEE 2
(alarmed)
No lettuce?
TEACHER
Sorry. No. I mean, yes, I would like lettuce.
EMPLOYEE 2
Did you want pico de gallo?
TEACHER
Yes. And black olives.
EMPLOYEE 2
(puts pico in taco shell)
Anything else?
TEACHER
Er. How about black olives, onions, cheese, and lettuce.
EMPLOYEE 2
(puts olives in taco shell)
Anything else?
TEACHER
Oh boy. How about onions, cheese, lettuce?
EMPLOYEE 2
(puts onions in taco shell)
Did you want anything else?
TEACHER
CHEESE. SOME CHEESE, PLEASE.
EMPLOYEE 2
(puts cheese in taco shell)
EMPLOYEE 1
Anything else? Did you want lettuce?
TEACHER
Sure. Lettuce would be great.
EMPLOYEE 2
(puts lettuce on the mixture in taco shell, tries to close lid to container)
Hmm.
EMPLOYEE 1
(step in)
No, see, you got to do it like--
Both EMPLOYEES wrestle with lid to container.
TEACHER
(glances at line forming behind her)
You know, it's really okay. I can just take it as it is.
EMPLOYEE 1
We almost got it.
EMPLOYEES continue to wrestle with lid. EMPLOYEE 1 closes lid.
EMPLOYEE 2
Anything else?
TEACHER
(forced cheer)
NOPE! THIS LOOKS GREAT! THANKS SO MUCH!
TEACHER carries taco salad to cashier.
CASHIER
Taco salad! Six dollars.
TEACHER
(hands over ID card)
Could you check to see if there's a meal on here? I'm supposed to have a meal on here.
CASHIER
(takes card)
Well, I hope there is! Otherwise, how you gonna pay for lunch.
TEACHER
I will use my credit card.
CASHIER
(swipes card)
Oh boy. There's no meal on here.
TEACHER
(holds out credit card)
It's okay. I'll use this.
CASHIER
Do you have another way to pay?
TEACHER
(shakes credit card)
CASHIER
(sees card, takes card)
Okay! Credit or debit?
TEACHER
Credit.
CASHIER
Now, you bought a meal, so it comes with a drink.
TEACHER
Uh. Where are the drinks?
CASHIER points across cafeteria to Coke machine, next to TACO OLE!, where EMPLOYEE 1 and 2 are making burritos.
TEACHER
You know what? I'm fine. I have water.
CASHIER
You don't want the drink?
TEACHER
(gathers salad)
Nope! Plenty hydrated! Don't need a Coke!
CASHIER
But the drink comes with the meal.
TEACHER
(starting to run for exit, yelling over shoulder)
Thanks anyway! Thank you!
CASHIER
Miss! You forgot your receipt!
TEACHER flees building.
END SCENE
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